I've never blogged so many times, in a day. But, hopefully, the topic stops here.. in this [pls pls pls be the last post] last post.
First of all, Fee... I miss you. Seok, Siyan and Nat too. And, after a convo with Jace and Nat... I saw stuff that I nv thought I would see. Stuff that made me realise... how lightly I treated my friends. Examples weren't listed in other people's posts...maybe they wanted me to realise it myself. And I did. So, to make this post as emotionless and as practical as could be...I will do listings.
Problem 1 with me... I never share things that should be shared with friends. Especially when that friend put her trust in me, to share things. And I am truly sorry that I kept stuff that should not be kept from close friends. I won't list the stuff, 'cos some people who read this.. aren't my friends. =X
Problem 2 with me... I am most of the time, unreceptive to advice. Why? Lol..if you dunno, it's because im pig headed. I always think I'm right. From young, i've been fighting for my right.. and.. yeah. So, one day, I will have to face the fact that, no one is ever right. That's why Fee told me that she didn't wanna find out who was right or wrong during 'The Fight'.
Problem 3 with me... Lol.. you know how hard it is for me to list my problems? I'm proud.. This is so.. saddening... OK... I deal with my problems, by treating them lightly. Very lightly. I think that all problems are silly or just troublesome, to waste so much thought over. But... the fact that I can't get over this problem shows how not silly...and [ok the troublesome part remains..]. Sorry if my posts are so dismissive and lacking.. seriousness. But I was serious. Because I've never felt so horrible in my life. So.. yeah..
Then... yah.. Found out tt Fee also.. not happy that i didn't really respond after 'The Fight'... so i'm responding here.. because im a coward. A coward, who dun think that she's ready to talk and get an immediate reply. I dunno if i pinpointed the problem, or if it can be solved with a simple sorry. So, this sorry is gonna be different. This whole post is about my apologizing. And I know what I'm apologizing for... And i know that this strain between me and fee has hurt Nat, Seok and Siyan too. Because, no one wants this. And.. I know i don't want this. I'm happy that this happened though.. because in the end, everyone turns out better. I hope things can go back to how it were once. I don't keep this hope really big, because i can't accept rejection from friends well...so.. yeah.
And.. The last post.. that sentence.. if it's not straight forward enough, the 2 broken ppl..is me and fee. because we have our pride, and our pain, and our pressure. So, we cannot help one another. Thank you Nat, for understanding that sentence. I really needed that last convo with you. From someone who was sitting on the fence, observing, and not judging. I wish for the best. And i love you guys. From the bottom of my heart. And he knows that. So i can safely say this. haha.. You were in my life from way back, when i was this.. quiet gal in 04A03. Yeah.. it was 3 then.. not 2 =) And i experienced many stuff.. delightful and joyful, sad and painful, stress and even more stressful. And i cherish them.. All of them have the 4 of u in it. And I hope, yours has mine too.
