Lynn, you are frustratingly, annoyingly, irritatingly you. one setback and you're gone for good. that was why i slapped you. because you were not awake. the spiderweb... it is something i share only with you and your brother. the spider waits in one corner, and when its prey starts struggling, it emerges. you started struggling. your weakness is that you do not talk. you were always afraid to talk. to say the wrong things. to do the wrong things. you never ask. you never told. you take chances with lots of things. but you refuse to take chances with people. now you got hurt instead. others are hurt too. no one wants to hurt someone else intentionally. your friends felt that this was for your own good. you gain some, you lose some. you hurt two people in secondary school. but it was more than that. you hurt yourself. even now, you forgot the more important things. what day is it today? start hating yourself.
i will not advice you on that one last matter. but i will be mindful. voice out your concerns. do not, at the expense of not wanting to harm people, harm yourself instead. you never really got over what had happened. sometimes leaving it to time will not help. you run..and find excuses not to face it. painful, but it is time for you to vent that frustration. an embarassing topic, but you shared it with me. share it with others. i cannot help you in this.
you are afraid to trust. and when you want to trust, you trust too much. there is a limit. find it yourself. you and your elder brother... closer than you think you are. i can only do so much, but there will be a time when i start getting too close. that is when i lose sight of things. that is why i choose to stay far away, unless you need help. do not apply this to your friends. it is different. and maybe now, you need your brother. you need him more than you think.
and should you really have called me? lawl... i do not mind. but think of the people in your life now. i am not the only one there for you. when it seems as though the whole world has turned its back on you, revise what you define as the whole world. the whole world could be right in front of you...simply waiting. sorry for intruding like this, but you are not in sync with what is happening. go change the password to something more harder to guess.
sarang heyo. so do your parents and many others. cheer up.
